Space?

When one comes to a point when someone is obviously is exasperated with somone what does one do? I felt it, had been feeling it in the last few encounters. Little snipes here, pointed texts there. I get it. I admit, I have been hanging around Bitter Pond for a while now. I get it. Oh, do I get it. I think everyone spends a little time there. Sometimes it's good to wallow. The wallowing can be cathartic. There comes a point when it crosses from cathartic to self indulgent and bothersome. I don't want to be bothersome, I have been trying not to be a burden but sometimes things need to purge. Is it space that is needed here? Too close now, pushing back is what is happening? I don't know. I'll just hang out in space for a while.

Here I am writing again. I am not a very consistent blogger. I have no excuse really except that my mind is constantly filled with what I need to be doing, second guessing the next shoe that drops and what the heck awaits me on my first day back to work after the weekend. Most of it I can't control, some of it yes. But really when you have a mind like mine where every second something comes to the surface and says "What about this?!!!", blogging is usually the first thing to get tossed back into the abyss. Of course then there's the braces for the kids, first cars, the new trumpet, what camp is # 2 going to go to this summer (# 1 is all set)and am I going to have time for a vacation for me? Geez. Sometimes the din is so loud I just shut down and watch HGTV which, of course, makes me feel even worse because there are all these people doing fantastic things to their homes and (crap, I really need to finish the detailing on my backsplash!)how do these people do this stuff? That is exactly the reason why I cancelled my subscription to Martha Stewart's magazine, guilt over not being able to have the time to do all the fabulous projects in there!
Yesterday I made big strides I called the plumber to come and fix my toilets(C-I know I should learn to fish to eat yada yada... but it's crazy in my head!)and I am now having a landscaper come to coax my yard back to life. I feel like I accomplished something after all, even though it was really just a couple of phone calls. Still now there is room for the blog guilt to get taken to task and put away. Hmmm, I do have to go to work tomorrow....oh lord the empty spaces are already getting filled! I need a brain secretary(excuse me, administrative assistant). Anyone up for the job!

Earning a Nervous Breakdown

Okay so here I am on a Friday night, nearly midnight at work. Why you ask? Well if you look back at my previous posts you will see that I spent some time in Oregon. I learned a lot, had a great time and made some friends. Now I am back in Phoenix and the work has begun. Crazy times. I am really one of those women on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It's funny because I read somewhere that a female celebrity called being in rehab a vacation. I think my new code name for vacation will be nervous breakdown. It sounds so much more interesting. Of course I am not allowed to have a nervous breakdown. What woman is? I am sure there are plenty of women who would appreciate a 30 day stay in a place where no children, boss, significant other or mops can touch you. Not to mention the sedation. Ahhh heaven. A massage is great so is a pedicure but a complete check out in the loony bin I think would be the best. Wouldn't even have to worry about what you look like. Can just wear a robe and slippers all day every day. Now that's a vacation!