Can I come home?

I am home today. I have been traveling back and forth for the last 3 weeks between Portland and Phoenix. I am intimate with the TSA agents at both airports, I know the cleaning ladies in the bathrooms there and the Starbucks folks say "hey" everytime I come in for my venti skim latte-iced. It used to be I was jealous of the traveling folks who did it on a regular basis. I now understand completely why people get burned out. I am toast at this point. I miss my family-that goes with out saying, I miss my friends just as much. Being able to call up and get together on a whim I miss, chatting with the neighbors and having impromptu gatherings. I really want to come back and stay for good.

It's my birthday!

Well here it is the big day. Not so excited about it nowadays. Since this is one of the last remaining birthdays beginning with a 4# it's a little scarier I must admit. I began to think back on birthdays past, my cavalier attitude towards turning 30 and 40. I know quite a few women who were quite nervous, freaked out about those ages and I could never understand why. Here I am looking at 50 and now I get it. Of course I am getting ahead of myself now but still 50?! Where did all the years go? It seems just like yesterday I was celebrating my Mother's 50th birthday-it can't be my turn! No fair! I am not my mother's age!

Today is my birthday, will spend time with my sons, sister and some of my friends and be thankful for all I have and how far I've come. I am not going to worry today about tomorrow. Happy Birthday Erika!

I get a comunication from my friend(DF-Darling Friend) yesterday-one sentence, "You need to update your blog, Ms.". So here I am. I admit I have been lax on this. I figured no one was reading this except for myself. I was wrong. When I noticed on DF's blog she actually had a link to mine. Then I got scared. Other people could and probably were reading it. Wow. DF found it on her own, I think because I don't remember telling anyone about it. That means someone will actually be able to post their opinion about my sometimes too insightful ramblings. I am not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand I feel very empowered and la di dah about it. On the other hand, I feel like I did when I was 16 and my creative writing teacher read my creations to the class. I would look around to make sure everyone was listening and not pointing to their heads and making the crazy sign. So now I am on the hook. I will put more out there since I know at least one person is interested in what I have to say. I will have to be more diligent about my posts. Thanks, Darling Friend, for kicking me into response. I promise to do better.

History of My Independence

I have been hanging out with all sorts of women in recent years and I love them all. They have made me who I am. It all started with my mother. She came to her thirties during some of the most transitional times for women-the early seventies. She gladly would have burned her bra if she did not need the support so much. From her example I learned that women can do what ever they like and that they could still be feminine too. She also showed me what is worth fighting for and that I can take care of myself. The only problem is I now have a hard time asking for and accepting help from people because of this.

Then there was Debbie who taught me to be open to new experiences at the drop of a hat. While I did get into trouble with this a few times (another blog folks!) I showed me that running to a schedule is not always fun and some time the trouble one gets into is worth it for the laughing at later.

Joan was another independent lady that I rented a room from for a short while. She showed me that being older and unmarried was not a bad thing contrary to popular belief. She dated who she wanted to when she wanted to and that staying in with the telly and cup of tea was good.

Katherine now here was a gal that I will put in the human bumper car category. i was always amazed when she bumped into "NO" she moved away and around it. She never let adversity get her down for too long. She only wallowed one time that I recall in our time together and that was fully justified. When she finally recovered she was more determined than ever not to repeat her mistakes. It really took a big bump to get to her.

These are only a few and I will probably have to part two this post but it's a start on the History of My Independence.

Where's my shoe.

I came home from work yesterday and went out to say hello to my guest on the patio-Spike. I noticed one of my tennis shoes was astray and looked like it had been tossed around and slobbered on a bit. I did not see the partner. I looked at Spike and asked him where the other shoe was he only looked at me like I was nuts. We then went round the yard looking. No shoe. This troubles me somewhat as Spike is a guest and actually has owners and I did not want to seem like I was not taking care of him. Still I looked for the shoe. I could only ascertain after not seeing it that it had been consumed. How does a dog eat a Skecher tennis shoe? No fluff, no remnants of sole, no dangling shoe lace. Gone.

I don't want to see where it is found.

Spring Break ha ha (deadpan)

Spring break. I guess when you are young and carefree still in school it means a lot. I don't recall it ever meaning that much to me when I was young. I never did the college years spring breaks-I was always working then.
I figured I would take the week off with the kids and do something fun. I did manage to take a couple of days to take care of some business -tax papers, car repairs and the boys had some dental work done as well. In this economy it's hard for me to justify a trip somewhere. We did hang out with friends and took the train to the science center down town. No free wheeling beach trips, beer bongs or shenanigans. It was sort of boring but I did get lots of rest and had some fun hanging with my boyos.

# 2 did come down with strep so we had a detour to the doc as well. I don't understand why I feel like nothing happened but the kids said they had a good time. I guess I am just dreading going back to work on Monday. Spring break just isn't as fun as I thought it could be. I guess I missed out. Oh well we should have a better time this summer.

Manimony

So I am a single mother. We divorced last year. I bought a house at the top of the downward spiral-got a good interest rate was suprised I could buy something at all considering I am paying the ex "manimony". Initially I didn't mind it just needed to get out. Now though I am deeply angered by this. X is now updating the house that we purchased together with all the things I wanted to do but didn't because he said we couldn't afford it. Hmmmm. Now that he is "engaged" he has the money, time and effort to do these things. Yes she is moving in with him. He is going to Belize for 2 weeks, taking a week off to go to California-Legoland, the whole SOCal tour buying flat panel TV's. How does this work? I have a tube TV, no chance of going anywhere fancy this summer and a car that I can barely afford to repair.

Am I missing something.

I am going to call a Lawyer.

Up down clap your hands!

I think Obama is on a personal crusade to improve the health of Congress within his first 100 days. I am watching his address to congress and I don't recall ever seeing them sit and stand so many times during any address during Bush's deliveries...of course not that I watched Bush much; it was way to painful. I was always sort of embarassed for Bush.

I guess this is Obama's way of getting Congress moving.

Good for him!